To read Pt. 3: Inside Gordon College: Visitation Pt. 3, I Broke It!
It is obvious that this entire blog about visitation is extremely critical of the policy. I think that visitation is ridiculous and many times, unfair, and I am not apologetic in my act of claiming that. I do want to provide some extra disclaimers, however, to address some of the thoughts that my readers might be having as they are reading these posts. Each of these points are not related to one another, but I think are all important to talk about.
First off, I do not seek to slander or name call anybody through this writing. Even more particularly, I do not seek to slander the RD’s of Gordon. The RD’s are exceptional people and they undergo extreme hard work and stress to ensure that their dorm is a healthy community. The person who was my RD for the past two years is a hero and mentor to me. She has taught me so much about myself and the world that I am forever indebted to her.
I want to point out that with administering punishments, the RD’s have the freedom to decide what to do. In the situation that I explained with the gender queer student, that student would be able to explain to the RD their situation (if they felt comfortable coming out) and the RD could very well not punish the student for breaking visitation. Many of the RD’s at Gordon are loving and graceful people who care about the students and would not administer punishments that are unjust. That being said, there are many students who experienced an RD administering unfair punishment to them and I also don’t want to deny that reality. The more important idea is that the general policy of visitation is flawed and it gives the RD’s the power to be oppressive if they so choose to.
Second, I want to return to my statement in part 3, mentioning how at one point I had thought visitation was good. Like I said, there is a percentage of students who consider visitation to be good. I was one of those students at one time. I say this because I desire to allot grace to the students who agree with visitation. These people are not weak of mind or heart, the policy just makes sense to them. I changed my views because I was granted the blessed opportunity to interact with women more frequently and also, spend alone time with a very special woman. Through these interactions, I was able to see how healthy it is for men and women to come together and have their own space. Also, my beliefs about religion and society changed and due to that, I started to see gender in a very different way.
Third, people who agree with visitation might read this blog and be pissed at me. They might say, “If you don’t like it, then don’t go to Gordon where you have to deal with it.” Fair enough. The problem with that statement is that I love Gordon! I love my friends and I love my classes. I don’t want to leave it at all. Is it possible for me to stay at Gordon and enjoy the things I enjoy and be critical of the things that make me angry? Moreover, I am living off campus next year. I don’t even have to deal with visitation anymore. The reason why I am writing this blog is to bring attention to flawed policies and to hopefully facilitate conversation that can create change in these rules so that it is fairer for the students at Gordon who feel hurt or even oppressed by visitation.
Lastly, I want to provide a link to a video. This video was directed, shot and edited by my friend, Jake Rioux. It’s a satirical piece on visitation and I consider it to be extremely entertaining. Enjoy!